How our relationships affect our wellbeing

Think of the things that make you happy. Is it catching up over coffee with a friend? Having dinner with your partner, or playing with your kids? Or is it competing in a close-fought pub trivia competition with your teammates? Whatever you came up with, we’d guess that many of these activities include a person who’s important to you. 

Our relationships—whether they’re with a partner, friends, family or colleagues—play a vital role in our everyday lives, reminding us that we’re loved and protecting us from feeling alone.

But how do those relationships affect our overall wellbeing? And how do we know if we already have close relationships in our lives?  

Why relationships affect wellbeing

Humans are social creatures, and we need social outlets and connections to thrive and feel valued. Active and healthy relationships impact mental health. They stop us from feeling isolated and create a sense of security so that, no matter what life throws at us, we don’t have to face it alone.

If we don’t have strong relationships in our lives, the opposite can feel true—we may feel unloved and unimportant, and less equipped to tackle life’s obstacles.

As a result, our intimate relationships, be it romantic or platonic, are crucial to our overall wellbeing. They influence how we rate our happiness, and help us to maintain a strong connection to our community, which also supports our Real Wellbeing.

In partnership with Deakin University, Australian Unity has been tracking the wellbeing of Australians for more than 25 years through the Australian Unity Wellbeing Index. The Wellbeing Index identifies relationships as one of the seven life areas of wellbeing, along with health, standard of living, community connectedness, personal safety, achieving in life and future security.

Indeed, the Wellbeing Index goes one step further, identifying close personal relationships as part of the “golden triangle of happiness”, alongside standard of living and a sense of purpose.

The impact of wellbeing on our relationships: Kevin’s story

If recent history has taught us anything, it’s that life can throw any number of obstacles at us without warning. Humans are a very resilient species, and relationships and resilience go hand in hand. Resilience is built on the back of strong and mutually supportive relationships.

Strong relationships with those you can confidently share your thoughts, secrets, hopes, dreams and fears with can provide an important sense of security and a defence against life’s challenges. Those positive relationships impact wellbeing.

When Kevin became a father for the first time, he admitted to feeling overwhelmed at the changes life threw at him. From sleepless nights to the responsibility of building a connection with his newborn son, he says he struggled to really “feel like a dad”. 

But the support of his close friends helped lift the burden, and he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel receiving social support for the stress he felt.

“I’ve always been lucky enough to have a core group of friends that I could reach out to, who kind of took me aside and just said, ‘How’s it going?’” he explains. “There’s always going to be times when things come off the rails and I feel secure that I’ve got people I could turn to. That’s the key sign for me that I know I’m in a rich relationship.”

Dr Kate Lycett, lead researcher of the Wellbeing Index, agrees: “Having people to rely on during difficult times pays wellbeing dividends. Equally important is remembering we have the power to uplift the wellbeing of those around us by being a source of support when they need it most.”

Social relationships and wellbeing 

So how do you make sure you have strong relationships in your life? And what happens if you don’t have a partner?

When we talk about intimate relationships, it doesn’t have to be a romantic one—closeness, support and trust are the keys to building “intimacy”. Having this level of intimacy with someone (or multiple people) means you can rely on them, and share your ideas, opinions, fears and successes openly. 

Specifically, good relationships that contribute to our wellbeing are defined by: 

• a sense of trust 
• mutual support
• feelings of affection and (romantic or non-romantic) intimacy 

These types of supportive relationship benefits can come from our friends, our family, workmates or, yes, partners. Whoever your relationships are with, however, it’s crucial to nurture and strengthen them, as relationships impact our mental health.

“Good relationships are the ultimate pillar of wellbeing,” says Kate. “It’s not about having a lot of them—it’s about having enough people you can turn to when things go badly, and people who bring you joy. They’re a source of contentment, but also a buffer when life gets tough.”

We can tend our relationships by spending time together, making space to listen to each other’s hopes and dreams, and by offering support. By regularly communicating their importance in your life, you build your relationships and, in turn, build and maintain your emotional wellbeing.

Intimate relationships can bring us a sense of security, purpose, value and happiness. They need to be nurtured to thrive, and require mutual respect, love and support from all parties involved. But when you strike that balance right, those relationships have an unyielding positive effect on our wellbeing.